What I learned after a year of tidying up

“Your daily life is your temple and your religion.” —Kahlil Gibran

Do you love your home? Or, more importantly, does your home love you?

As a “messy” person (at least according to my mom), I usually kept certain places clean, like my desk, or files on my hard drive—and had the hardest time with other places. Like my closet. Or the dishes in the kitchen.

Almost a year ago, a friend told me about The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, a bestselling book by Marie Kondo. It promised life changes, and magic.

All I knew was I just wanted to feel more in control of my home, and spend less time cleaning. So I started by pulling out all of my clothes onto my bed and going through them one by one, deciding what to keep and what to discard. KonMari method of tidying is difficult to grasp intellectually, so I won’t be describing it in detail here (plenty has been written about it). If you want to improve your home environment, get the book and do exactly what she says.

In the meantime, here’s what I discovered during and after the process.

#1 Your house can feel luxurious, even on a budget

My vision before starting KonMari was—I wanted to feel as if I’m living in a 5-star hotel. I don’t have staff. What I’m talking about is the feeling: Everything is provided for. Everything is pleasant. You are respected and valued.

So, if you think about your home, you probably have spaces that you love, like your favorite chair, or your bedroom. And then there are places that scare you, possibly the under-sink kitchen cabinet. Or that junk drawer.

Having things that you don’t like, or paperwork from something you resent—all of this creates stress, and flat out drains your energy. Even hidden out of sight (especially if it’s hidden). So, do yourself a favor, and discard the things that you do not love!

#2 Keep all things of the same kind together

One of the biggest lessons, and biggest improvements in creating peace in my home, and mind. For example, I used to keep shoes in two places—a shoe closet, and coat closet. I would only see the three or four pairs that I was using, and the rest of my beautiful shoes pretty much got forgotten. Now that they are all together, I see my entire collection every time I open the door.

Have you noticed how things deteriorate if you don’t pay attention to them? Now, it’s no shoe left behind. They all feel included and happy. Especially that I have designed a custom closet just for them ... yellow paint and all.

#3 How does your house feel, to the touch?

Another aspect to consider is textures. Are surfaces in your home smooth and soft to touch? What kind of sound do they make? As I was going through my kitchen, I realized that I’ve always disliked the sound of stainless steel bowls. They are just way too loud, especially if you are using a metal utensil or a hand mixer. So I got a set of melamine bowls that both look pretty and sound good.

Same thing happened with sliding closet doors. Not only they obscured half of the closet at all times, they were also heavy, clunky, and made a screeching sound. Who came up with that stuff in the first place? I donated all of them to Habitat for Humanity, and put up soft sheer curtains instead, using simple shower curtain rods.

Bookcase in my office, and Buddy the Beagle

#4 You do not need containers

The container / box / basket industry creates the images of perfect peace and order, if you place everything in a container. Not necessarily so. Things can live peacefully on the shelf, provided there is enough space. You can stack towels in a cute pile, arrange bottles and jars, each having its designated spot. Pretty things can be both functional and decorative. I did break this rule for the shoe boxes, because I wanted to be able to stack them on top of one another, and also to keep my special heels from collecting dust.

#5 The fewer clothes you have, the more you have to wear

Paradoxical, isn’t it? I have pared down my clothes four times in the last year. Each time discarding probably 30%. I did replace some of them, but still I have much less than what I started with. When you can see all of your clothes at the same time, and all of them are your favorites, you feel completely in control. You can pull out any item without even looking. And somehow, you feel like you have more to wear!

During the last round, I had help from a dear friend and a genius stylist Kate. She opened up a whole new world of clothing. I thought I knew what to wear, but far from it! Her A-list philosophy is genius. And she did it all on Skype. Check out her website at www.kategoldsborough.com.

#6 Watch out for word noise

Marketing messages on packaging, boxes, magazines—whether you want it or not, you see those labels and your subconscious mind registers them. Your brain has enough clutter going through it every day, so why add to it? I have become very picky as to what words I allow into my house. I keep things in un-labeled containers. Glass jars have become my best friends. And sometimes, I intentionally put words on my walls, to create certain vibration.

#7 Things and places can talk

I often go to a room or a space, and ask the space: what do you want? And the room will tell you. Once the energy-draining things are gone, the rest of your stuff starts telling you what it wants.

For example, my dresser wanted to live in the closet. My bathroom now wants to be a barefoot space, with soft cotton rugs. And it wants a new toilet, literally. After two years of putting off replacing the toilet, I got the message loud and clear, because the old one broke!

One of the reasons that I started tidying in the first place was that I wanted to create a good-feeling home office. And I couldn’t. I discarded, and tidied, and still I couldn’t make it “click.” Then, one morning, I realized that I had to re-arrange the rooms entirely! So now that my office has moved to the corner bedroom, things fell into place.

#8 Love your home, and it will love you back

I even talk to my house as a whole. I asked my house, what is your name? And I heard the answer. My name is Love.

Ahhhhh!! This was the most comforting thing anyone ever told me! Living surrounded by unconditional love. As if my house has been there all along, just waiting for me to take care of my space, and to listen. I had a sign custom made, and put it up above the entryway.

I invite you to go to a spot in your house and talk to it, right now. Bring a chair. Sit comfortably. Listen for a few minutes. Do you hear anything?

Shopping list

I usually get questions about this, so here is where you can get some of the things:

Clear shoe boxes: Heeled shoe boxes from the Container Store
Closet curtains: MATILDA from IKEA
Kitchen mixing bowls: Zak Design nesting bowls
Bookcases: HEMNES from IKEA
Dresser: HEMNES from IKEA (no longer available in red)
Shelf: EKBY from IKEA
Love sign: Duane and Susan’s workshop on Etsy